Well after hearing tonight's message at church I've decided to delete my ministry blog permanently. I will still have my dream blog where I post encouragements and my dreams (which are mainly all private) but there will be no more ministry blogs. Some may be wondering why so let me explain…

For awhile now I've felt a bit uneasy about my ministry blog but ignored that feeling but not anymore. Tonight's message just gave confirmation to what I thought was right and wrong but wasen't sure. Whether or not I have a personal blog (my therapy lol ) is still up in the air. If i do keep this as a personal journal/diary type thing I will totally erase the links from my website and it will be focused on the great things God is doing. That was the point of the ministry blog but it got to personal and then like I stated above after hearing the message tonight I just couldn't wait any longer. I had to delete it. If I need help reaching someone or need help understanding their issues I'm going to have to sit back and trust God to send that help to me but I can't type about it in my blogs. 1st off because I don't know who all reads these blogs and 2nd it's like what Dr. Paul said about not sharing anything you wouldn't want the other person to hear face to face no matter the intentions. I want the people God sends me to feel safe and know I'm on their side and that means carrying many things alone. The more you know the more you hurt and the more you need to find connections to help you balance it all out but that's in God's hands. He will never give me more than I can handle and if He thinks I need back up He'll send it.

I also liked how Dr. Paul said this situation can get weird because it can. Sometimes it's hard discerning how much is okay to share and how much isen't even when it comes to talking about ourselves. Sometimes you don't know until you've already opened your mouth and the conviction of the Holy Spirit falls on you. I think it's natural for people to want intimate relationships. To have people to share their life with and the events in their life. It helps give them a sense a family and connection but we have to be really careful cause our tongue really is evil .

Anyway I loved how Dr. Paul talked about root issues tonight. My friend Newman and Robert are always teasing me because I'm always after "the root". They always jokingly mock me and say, "Let's get to the root of it!" It's pretty funny at times especially when we are jokingly trying to find the root of someone's disgust for sprite, fear of spiders or dislike of wearing purple. It keeps us laughing.

Okay well this is farewell. I trust God will meet my needs in a different way. I feel really bad that I didn't do a better job of protecting those God sent me, it really breaks my heart. I hope God gives me another chance. I feel horrible.

In a way I will miss this blog but integrity says, "Farewell Ministry Blog!!" Protecting my friends is more important to me.